Aieeeeeee. You see I'm all peaceful and un-disturbed by the trifling force in this photo? But this is not the case yo. I have a high tolerance for BS but when I get annoyed - I get SO ANNOYED. So I have got to check myself constantly because I'm the one who ends up suffering for it. So to manage myself, because nobody else is going to do it for me, this is the dealio. I am constantly and forever wondering WHY PEOPLE ACT THE WAY THEY DO. I mean, REALLY. Who raised them? Do they think their behavior is going to get them what they want? Don't they SEE they are pushing others away and pissing me off? The answer is most of the time, people (your family, acquaintances, friends, strangers, co-workers, partners) have no idea they are annoying you. In fact, they are just living their life. I know, can you believe it?
Like the OG Oprah says, "You do better, when you know better." In fact, I believe most people are doing what they think is best, what they learned in the past, what their genetics is instructing them to do, and what they've been rewarded for in the past. It has ZERO % to do with what you want from them. Yet... here we are over-analyzing why they are the way they are. We are spending the energy we could be spending on creativity, love, friends, quality time taking care of ourselves, dreaming up new life and working on our own behaviors....on someone else's negativity. WHY? How do we stop from getting so up in arms that our precious life moments are stolen by someone else's trifling behavior. Allow this Foxy to light it up!
1. Non-Offense
So like I said, no one is trying to piss you off. Usually ;) They are living in their own world. My wise friend told me she repeatedly says in her mind "non-offense, non-offense, non-offense" over and over again when she's around triflers. It separates her state of being from others actions so she can stay in her safe bubble of joy. Because YASSSSSS, she has decided to be in a space of joy and that means no one has the power to step into her space unless she invites them too. So go on repeat and do what ya' gots to do. Non-offense means it's not personal to begin with - so don't take it personal. Just don't even start. Feel me? Moving on.
2. The Quick Release (AKA Pivot)
This works when you KNOW someone well enough that you can predict you will be rolling your eyes as soon as they cross your path. Maybe a co-worker that just gets under your skin. Your chest might even tighten and you'll be taking shallow breaths. We gotta turn this around! Ok, I get it. So let it go. My friends and I call this the "Pivot." As soon as I see them with their stank wack azz energy coming my way and I allow my own thoughts to sink down into a low vibration icky place...I say PIVOT. That means I do a 180 with my thoughts. This trifler has no power over my thoughts, that's on me. So I pivot and get back to my own self. This is a step up from 'Non-Offense' because it requires more Jedi mind control. But you'll get there. Just keep practicing. It gets fun! When people are vibing low, they want (need) you to join them so they can feel better. Misery loves company. But I say NAH BRAH. I'm high on life, I ain't got time for that. I'm in this bubble of love (or wherever I am that day) and it feels to good to join your non-sense. Got it? NEXT.
3. Wakanda Forever.
No I am not playin'. And yes I got this from the movie Black Panther. Have you seen this movement? I mean movie ;) This is not going to spoil it if you haven't. In one fighting scene there are these electronic blue fence like gates that enrapture people so that they cannot get out. Mentally, I put one of these around annoying people so their energy cannot access mine. Now this is a visual trick but if it works for your mind...then it works. So I don't question it. I believe in energy and if my energy feels powerful, then is it. And if my energy blocks you out, then you're blocked. Feel me?
4. Compassion
Namaste darlings. This my all time favorite. But it takes a lot of practice. Like daily practice. I try to imagine where the triflers are coming from. Most people come from two different places in their behaviors. Okay, maybe three. Love, Fear or a neutral automatic state. Arrogance, aggressiveness, hate...that's all from a place of fear and pain. Joyfulness, kindness, thoughtfulness, that's from a place of feeling goodness and love. Then I believe there's an automatic place where we respond / react based on habit. But when I see shitty behavior and recognize it for what it is - fear...my heart feels for people. I have empathy. I stand in their shoes for a moment and see they are hurting deep down. And it's sooooo much easier to forgive, let go and move on when I see thru eyes of compassion. This DOES NOT mean you need to be around someone who hurts you or makes you feel awful, set those boundaries boo boo. It just means you can let go of the experience (with practice) and move on to focus on your life. To focus on your joy. Cause that's what we are here for. JOY. Not overanalyzing & criticizing someone else. But actively pursuing what makes you feel good.
5. Look at Yourself
Hmmmmm...this is the last one. If I am ALWAYS triggered by the same BS, now I gotta take an honest look at myself. Why is this person getting to me so bad? Oh crap....I know the answer. This experience is meant to teach me something. Because nothing can come into my life repeatedly without me allowing it. Have you ever just banged your head up against the wall frustrated as all hell at something; and then once you learn how to deal with it, it just fades away like it never existed? Yup. Cause you learned what you needed to. Well when I get to that point and I am tragically frustrated, I know I'm about to have a break thru... so to get there quicker I breathe deeply repeatedly, surrender with all my heart and announce that I am ready to learn what it is I am meant to learn. And voila, things start to turn over. Surrender is key, it's hard too, I know. I struggle with this part but it gets me to the other side. And there's no avoiding your lessons so let's get thru them since we can't go around them, yeah? (Your lessons are also known as your life gifts - the Universe told me so).
This is what I've learned so far and I know I'll be learning the rest of my life so I guess I'll be posting until I'm in my dirt bed lol. Was that extra?
Much love star shines. You know you got that shine too. Don't you dare try and hide that light boo boo. Only you can be YOU. Protect your light, share it with those who appreciate it or need it and don't get caught up. There ain't nobody else like you. Focus, breathe, shine. Yassssss. You got this.
Much love,
Fox
Share this with anyone who you know needs to hear this. We gotta help our friends move on!